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because giving up is not an option

  • Strength. Determination. Hope.

    January 30, 2020 by

    Round 1 – 3 transfers (1 fresh, 2 frozen) – 0 babies. I began this blog not for anyone else but for myself. Regardless of whether anyone else would read it, I wanted to be able to look back on our journey and see how far we’ve come. Reading my previous posts I certainly wear… Read more

  • The ‘oohh any news yet?’ Holidays

    January 5, 2020 by

    Has anyone else had a ridiculously up and down holiday period or is that just me?? A brief synopsis of our journey so far… Round 1 gave us 1 fresh transfer and 2 frozen. In November we had the final ‘all or nothing’ transfer which would either result in a fantastic Christmas present or a… Read more

  • Positive Pants are back on!

    October 30, 2019 by

    The thing about infertility that I struggle with the most is the strain it has on my general positivity. I’m a positive person. My mindset is always that being negative and down about things will never fix a problem. Then fail no2 happened…. “Next time will be the one.” “Baby just wants to be a… Read more

  • The Second Blob of Hope

    September 15, 2019 by

    A medicated cycle for FET will be easier they said. We have more control they said. You won’t need as many scans they said. They haven’t met my uterus clearly (well they have, repeatedly, but it’s a law unto itself). 5 scans, increased estrogen tablets and I was convinced we’d have to cancel yet again.… Read more

  • Here we go again…

    August 12, 2019 by

    I lied in my last post. We attempted round 2. Well I say we attempted. I followed what I was told to do and have at least 1 cycle before thinking about the 2 frozen embryos. My cycle came and went and I was ready. I wouldn’t have been ready had I had to do… Read more

  • The Little Blob of Hope…

    August 12, 2019 by

    You’re given a photograph of the embryo they put back into your uterus. A little blob containing lots of other little blobs. That’s the hope. Then you wait… We had a trip booked to Paris for a few days over the period that I was due to go back for my pregnancy test so, instead… Read more

  • The First Round

    August 12, 2019 by

    I was excited. No nerves. Pure excitement. This was it – the moment we had been waiting for. All those additional 3 month waits, the disappointment about having to self-fund. This was it. Armed with my injections (£740…gulp) and my sharps bin, a couple of Youtube tutorials later, I felt ready to begin. I feel… Read more

  • Tests, re-tests, re-re-tests

    August 12, 2019 by

    Initial hospital testing – for us, well and truly categorised in the ‘despair’ section of the hope-despair-repeat cycle. From what I can gather through my copious research (honestly, I feel as though I’ve done more Google searches than a PHD student) this is normally a relatively swift process. Check female, check male, identify the problem,… Read more

  • IVF: hope – despair – repeat

    August 12, 2019 by

    If you’re reading this blog you’re no doubt either somewhere on your IVF journey or you’re wondering how to support someone who is. I’m not writing this for anyone else – more for myself as a way of processing my feelings at an incredibly difficult time. However, if this helps you in any way, please… Read more

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