The thing about infertility that I struggle with the most is the strain it has on my general positivity. I’m a positive person. My mindset is always that being negative and down about things will never fix a problem. Then fail no2 happened….
“Next time will be the one.”
“Baby just wants to be a September baby.”
“Third time lucky.”
Really though? Why is third time lucky? If it was certain to happen eventually maybe it wouldn’t be as hard. But it isn’t, and maybe it never actually will work. I’ve spent 2 months throwing myself heavily into work, drinking too much and mentally beating myself up about being a failure. Not the best thing to admit I know.
What a different a good consultant makes. Today we met with a doctor, at the same clinic, to discuss the potential options for our final frozen embryo. I think my clinic are exceptional are I’m not ready to look elsewhere yet. He explained so clearly and honestly our treatment so far – the chemical pregnancy I thought I’d had was never fully explained until now. Apparently my cycles are perfect – who knew!! We have close to 0% chance of conceiving naturally but all the signs for IVF success are really good.
So I’ve put my positive pants firmly back on. Fingers crossed I won’t ovulate on a day the clinic is closed this time. Double fingers crossed the last little embryo has a successful thaw. Triple fingers crossed a positive outcome will be the Christmas present we so desperately long for.
We’ve got this!!